I've had to deal with some closed minds as of late so consider this post NOT a lecture but hopefully something you can learn from if you weren't already previously educated about ADHD.

- ADHD is neurobiological disorder.

- ADHD is a SLOWED nervous system. But AHDH kids are hyper, you say? Yes, they are. They need stimulation to focus. They need to "kickstart" their brains, per se, to catch up with the rest of them.

- ADHD is NOTNOTNOT due to bad parenting. Midget doesn't have ADHD cuz I don't discipline him enough or harshly enough or hell, even consistently enough. Trust me, before his diagnosis, I would beat his ass on a regular basis cuz the boy just wouldn't listen to me. It didn't faze him. At all. Now that we have a definitive diagnosis and I'm doing what I'm doing with him, he's better. And NOT cuz I spank him. It's because I'm a *good* parent. Don't blame an actual disorder on MY parenting. I'll end up beating YOUR ass. Trust me.

- An ADHD child WANTS to behave, for lack of a better term. But more often than not, without medication and/or behavior modification, they CAN'T.

- Every behavior has a function. EVERY BEHAVIOR HAS A FUNCTION. Once you figure out what that function is, you can learn to modify the behavior. (And there are four functions if you really want to know; escape, attention, tangible, and sensory) We do it on a regular basis. Shower water too hot? We turn the cold on more. The function of that behavior is escape. Treat ADHD children (and adults for that matter) like a regular damn human being and learn with them.

For example, Michael likes to talk. He LOVES to talk. He thinks everyone is like his mommy and therefore believes all of his stories and missions are the most important and interesting things to listen to. Part of why he would get into trouble at school was that he wanted to tell his teacher all about his stories and missions whenever the thought came into his head. The function to that behavior? Attention. When I went to the school about modifying his curriculum due to his IQ tests and ADHD, I went with several plans, one being the teacher gave midget a visible timer. The function to his behavior was attention, so why not give it to him, but on your terms. He now gets 100 percent of his teacher's attention for two minutes every morning. But when that timer is up, he's done as well. If he behaves in class, he gets an additional two minutes before recess or lunch or whatnot. And it's worked.

- An ADHD child WANTS to behave, for lack of a better term. But more often than not, without medication and/or behavior modification, they CAN'T. (Yes I know I already said that but I thought it was worth mentioning again.)

- Shoving ADHD medication down a child will not cure him. It won't. It may help to mask symptoms but it won't cure it. ADHD is a disorder.

- There's three well-known ways to help treat an ADHD child; medication, diet, and behavior modification. As of right now, I'm combining medication and weekly behavior mod sessions for midget. I have good intentions of trying diet modifications but haven't had the energy or gumption to do so. Maybe THAT makes me a bad parent. I can honestly tell you that midget has come leaps and bounds than even just three months ago. I don't like the idea of him being on medication but just because I believe in something doesn't mean it's the proper course for my child.

- Video games does not cause ADHD. Seriously. I can't tell you how many times I've heard this. It's a neurobiological disorder. Him playing video games did not cause that disorder. Does he play them too much sometimes? Maybe so. But I've found something that interests him and it works for him. I use a token economy with him to get him to focus and reward him and the reward of video games works. If I thought for one second that video games caused this, do you honestly think I would still allow it?

- One best way to start with modifying an ADHD child's behavior is using the proper reinforcement, continuous or intermittent. Continuous being reinforcement every single time after behavior (positive or negative reinforcement applies here) and intermittent being reinforcement occasionally after behavior. Examples: Every time midget listens the first time I tell him to do something, he gets a piece of a puzzle. When the puzzle is complete, he gets a new video game. That's continuous positive reinforcement (and fits in with the token economy). I play scratch off lottery. I only win about once a damn year. That's intermittent positive reinforcement. I keep playing cuz I know sooner or later, I'll be rewarded.

- The biggest rule I've learned with my ADHD child is the Fair Pair rule. When you are teaching one behavior to decrease, another more preferable behavior should increase. So instead of asking "What should I do about the behavior?" try asking "What do I want them to do instead?"

- When I ignore midget at the store when he's being loud or disruptive, I'm NOT ignoring him because I'm a shitty parent. I'm doing several things. 1 - I still have shit I need to get done and I can't stop everything because of him, 2 - it's an actual psychological term called "planned ignoring". His behavior's function is attention. If I give him my attention for negative behavior, what does that teach him? It teaches him that everytime he acts like a butthead, he'll get mommy's attention. Doesn't work like that. I'd rather have you look at me like I'm an asshole that slide backwards on everything my son has gained. I don't care about you, I care about him. Take your judgemental head out of your ass before I hand it to you via my foot.

- ADHD children need visualization and structure. They need to know what's expected of them. Midget has told me he has to actually picture something in his brain so he knows what to do. And that's coming from a 7 year old with an almost genius IQ score. (Seriously, his reading came back at a high school sophomore level and math at an 8th grade level) So, instead of telling midget "It's time for bed. Go put on your pajamas, brush your teeth, put your dirty clothes in the basket, etc..", I tell him "It's time for bed. Go put on your pajamas then come back." Then I give him his next set of instructions.

- The most important thing I want EVERYONE to know about ADHD? There is not misbehavior, there is missed behavior. Do *you* want to be disciplined all the time? What makes you think my ADHD son does?



I work with children with autism. I'm realizing that almost everything we do at our school works well with ADD/ADHD children. I've done my research, I'm actually giving workshops and classes now on ADHD and autism in Boy Scouts. I'm in no way, shape, or form an expert so please don't get me wrong or think I'm being all know-it-all-y. But what I am? Is a mother whose son is the one thing in life she's done right and I refuse to let close-minded twits screw with that.


The "you" in this post is NOT directed towards anyone on my flist. It's directed to the asses I've had to deal with the last couple of weeks when it comes to my child.


On a random note, USA is showing NCIS in syndication now. First season just started. Eight and nine central every Wednesday. If you're not watching this show and want to start, I can't recommend it enough.

ETA: I've been emailed and asked if they could link to this post. I've never been asked that before, but if you think someone/anyone could benefit from this, by all means do so.